" PRETENDING TO WANT TO HELP: This is a big issue in any group, community or organizational setting. Certainly this is a painful issue we have dealt with here in the ES community.
Manipulators and control freaks actually like to pretend to be helpful even though that is not really their real motivation. What they really want is a sense of control over something or access to someone. It may be that there is some power trip, status or personal goal that is believed can be achieved by pretending to be helpful to someone else.
Many times these people create a lot of destruction and extra work in the guise of” being helpful”. Then when the person/organization who is supposed to be receiving the help is getting a bunch of extra problems, the person uses guilt trips to say how unappreciated and undervalued they really are.
Open communication and assessment of qualifications and emotional maturity are a must in any organization which concerns a group."
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